Talking about bullying

Child mental health experts recommend not using the terms ‘victim’ and ‘bully’ when talking about bullying. Labelling a child a ‘victim’ or a ‘bully’ can influence how they see themselves, and it can become part of their identity.¹ Labels can also lead to reputational bias. This is when students develop a certain reputation in the minds of other students, parents and even teachers, and it can lead to those students being stigmatised.

Here are a few examples of what using the labels ‘victim’ and ‘bully’ might lead to:

• Calling someone a victim might lead them to blame themselves or feel helpless to change the situation.
• A child labelled a bully might begin to see themselves as being bad, or view aggression as part of their personality. This can make it harder for them to see that they can change their behaviours.
• A student labelled a victim or a bully is often treated in ways that reinforce that label by other students, parents and teachers. This label, or reputational bias, can span different social settings and follow them to new schools, which further reinforces the behaviour or experience.

Moving beyond labels

By focusing on behaviour rather than assigning labels, we can help the students involved to see bullying as something that is external to them, something that doesn’t define them, and something that can be changed. For example:

• Rather than talking about victims, talk about someone who is ‘the target of bullying’, someone who is ‘being bullied’ or, for younger children, ‘the child who was bullied’.
• Instead of talking about a bully, talk about ‘bullying behaviour’, someone who ‘is bullying others’ or, for younger children, ‘the child who did the bullying’.

There are many things that influence a child’s behaviour, from their understanding of acceptable behaviour to their personal histories and social influences. Recognising bullying as a behaviour and not as part of someone’s personality can help change that behaviour.

How bullying is defined matters

When students, teachers, and parents and carers understand what bullying is, this affects:

• if they properly recognise bullying behaviours
• if they report bullying or seek help
• how bullying is addressed in school and the community.

Students often don’t recognise bullying because they struggle to understand definitions of bullying that were developed by adults.² This is why it’s important to work with students on age-appropriate definitions that are easy to understand and use. It is also important to encourage students to ask for help when needed.

A poor understanding of what bullying is can lead to:

• incorrectly identifying bullying
• not identifying bullying
• confusion and difficulty in resolving bullying (and other conflicts).