Signs of bullying
A child or young person who is being bullied might not tell an adult about it. It can be hard to ask for help, and sometimes children might feel fear or shame about telling someone.
There are physical, social and emotional signs that can indicate bullying. Being aware of these potential signs, both at home and in school, can help those who bully or are bullied get support as early as possible.
Our moods and behaviour can change for lots of reasons. Every child and young person is different and may respond or act differently when bullying happens.
Possible signs at home
If you are concerned your child or young person is being bullied or bullies others, a good place to start is to talk with them about school and ask general questions about how things are going. The Raising Children network has helpful and practical advice for talking with children of all ages. Following are some possible signs of bullying that parents and carers might pick up at home:
- Not wanting to go to school, or suddenly disliking or refusing to go to school
- Becoming upset or anxious before or after school
- Not wanting to talk about school or what their school day was like
- Showing a drop in their school grades
- Changing friendships or break-ups
- Being excluded from friend groups
- Changing sleep patterns, including having trouble getting to sleep or having bad dreams
- Changing eating patterns (not eating lunch at school, eating more or less than usual)
- Often saying they have a headache, stomach-ache or ‘feel sick’
- Displaying frequent tears, anger or mood swings
- Acting aggressively or unreasonably
- Not wanting to talk about what’s wrong
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Getting into (physical or verbal) fights
- Displaying low self-esteem or negative self-talk
- Showing signs of self-harm and/or having thoughts about suicide
- Having unexplained bruises, cuts or scratches
- Arriving home hungry
- Changing how they go to school, in a way that seems strange or that they don’t (or won’t) explain; for example, going from riding to school to wanting to be driven, or taking a different route
- Spending more time than usual in their room or alone
- Withdrawing from activities they used to enjoy
- Appearing upset, nervous or worried after using their mobile phone, computer or other devices
- Seeming nervous when they receive a notification, message or phone call
- Being hesitant about going online
- Spending unusually long hours online
- Being secretive about their online activity
- No longer using their devices, unexpectedly and without explanation
Possible signs at school
While bullying can happen anywhere, a lot of face-to-face bullying happens at school.
- Becoming aggressive and unreasonable
- Seeming upset, unhappy or angry
- Getting into physical or verbal fights or conflicts with other students
- Sitting alone during class or at lunch times
- Not wanting to talk about what is wrong
- Withdrawing from friends and activities they previously enjoyed
- Experiencing a drop in academic performance
- Having a lack of close friendships at school
- Experiencing exclusion from friendship groups and/or often being alone
- Showing changes in their ability or willingness to speak in class
- Appearing insecure or frightened
- Being a frequent target for teasing or imitation, or being made fun of
- Repeatedly teasing, imitating or making fun of others
- Wanting to dominate or control others
- Showing little compassion for students who experience bullying
- Excluding or ignoring someone
Prevention and response
All students who are affected by or involved in bullying can feel disconnected from school and not like school. This can be isolating and make it difficult to ask for help. It is one of the many reasons that a sense of belonging at school is an important part of bullying prevention.
If you are concerned a student is being bullied, or is bullying others, the Respond section offers practical guidance for what to do next.
Seek help
If you are concerned about the behaviour or wellbeing of your child for any reason, it is important that you seek help. A great place to start is to speak to your school’s counsellor or wellbeing officer, your GP, or other professional support services. If you are worried your child might harm themselves, seek help immediately.
Beyond Blue
For all ages. Free and confidential, available 24/7. Call or chat to a counsellor online.
1300 22 4636
Headspace
Early intervention mental health services for 12-25 year olds
1800 650 890