What is bullying?

Secondary student
Years 7–12
Article

Bullying is when one person (or a group) repeatedly and deliberately misuses power to hurt or upset another person. Power can come from things like being older, stronger, more popular, or having something over someone (like a secret).

Bullying is not ok and it is not your fault. You have the right to feel safe.

Bullying is not accidental and can be physical, verbal, social or online. Sometimes it’s obvious, like pushing or insults, and other times it’s more hidden, like gossiping about someone behind their back or leaving someone out.

Bullying in any form or for any reason can have a long-term effect on those involved, including bystanders. It causes real harm – physically, emotionally and socially.

If someone behaves in a rude, mean or aggressive way on one single occasion, even though this is not respectful or acceptable behaviour, this isn’t bullying. One-off incidents and conflict or fights between equals, whether in person or online, are also not defined as bullying.

To be bullying the behaviour must be repeated, deliberate and misuse power to harm or humiliate another person in some way.

Why do people bully?

There are a few reasons someone might bully others.

Struggling with stress or trauma: for some people, bullying might be a coping strategy for dealing with something bad that’s happening in their life.
Low self-esteem or having been bullied themselves: some people bully to make themselves feel important or powerful, or as a strategy to stop others bullying them.
Bullying for attention: some people bully to gain social credibility in a group, or to feel power over others.
Social behaviour (or norms) that lead to bullying: joking, teasing or gossiping can sometimes cross the line and lead to bullying. The attitudes of friendship groups can also impact bullying behaviour. For example, someone who belongs to a friendship group that thinks online flaming is funny might be more likely to cyberbully others and see it as ‘fun’.

While these may explain why someone might bully others, it is important to know there are no reasons that make bullying ok.