I'm being bullied - what can I do?

Being bullied can make you feel really upset and alone. It feels awful. But there are things you can do that help.

The best advice for dealing with bullying is to tell a trusted adult so they can help to make it stop. 

When bullying happens, there are some things you can try to stop it yourself, if you feel safe to do so. Don’t try these strategies if you are in danger of being physically hurt. 

Usually, people who bully want a reaction from you, so the best thing you can do is to try to stay calm and not react.

Strategies to try

Here are some strategies to try when bullying happens (if you feel safe to do so).

• Try to stay calm. Count slowly to 10 and take a few slow deep breaths.
• Don’t try to hurt the person back. If you retaliate, it ‘rewards’ the person who is bullying with a reaction from you. It could also lead to you getting hurt or getting in trouble yourself.
• Try ignoring the bullying. Turn your back and walk away (if that feels safe).
• Act unimpressed, like you don’t care what they say or do. You could say, 'Okay, whatever' and turn away, or even walk away.
• Use a firm voice to tell the person who is bullying to stop. You could say something like, ‘I want you to stop. That’s not ok’ in a strong confident voice (you can practise this at home or with your friends).
• Ask your friends to speak up for you. And remember to do the same for them!
• Keep a record. Write down when and where the bullying happens. This will make it easier to report the bullying later. It can be hard to remember details, especially when you are feeling upset.
• Tell someone what’s happening. A trusted adult – like a teacher, parent, carer or other support person – can help you make the bullying stop.

Tell a parent, a teacher or another trusted adult about the bullying. They can help you.

This can feel really tough to deal with, but there are things you can do to help you cope while the bullying is still happening:

• Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself you’re doing the best you can in a really hard situation.
• Remember that it won’t be like this forever. The school will work hard to fix the bullying. And even if it takes a little time to stop, the bullying won’t last forever. Things will get better.
• Remember that the bullying is not your fault. Nobody deserves to be bullied. Bullying is never the fault of the person being bullied.
• Seek help from trusted adults when you need it. Talk to them about what’s happening and make a plan so you know who to go to for help when things are tough, like a favourite teacher, a parent or a family member.
• Spend time with friends and people who help you feel good about yourself.  
• Make time to do things you love that make you feel good, like sport, music, walks, movies, reading, exercise, art, activities with friends or family or pets, clubs or social groups, or family games nights.

You don’t have to deal with bullying alone. Tell a trusted adult what’s happening. They can help.